Apparently the Devil wears Ferragamo too!

I am so freaking livid right now!!!!...as in i am seeing RED, YELLOW, and even BLUE SEF!!!!. At this point i am so irritated that i can't even think straight.

So there is this guy i have been talking to for a while right...like for over a year now. Its one of those relationships where we just "kick it", no commitment whatsoever. I agreed to this BS because when i met him i wasn't looking for anything really serious either (haven just gotten rid of my freeloader long distance boyfriend). He was incredibly good looking with a laugh i just adored to bits, i guess this is the point i should point out he was a charmer too and i fell hook, line and sinker for all his lines. So for months we would just meet up and hang out on a "we are getting to know each other" type level (BIG MISTAKE!). It was then i found out he had more baggage than a full BA flight to Naija, i tried to deal with all the little shockers as they came, even though they bothered me. At some point i wanted more from our relationship but he still had his drama to take care off...so i didn't push.

Everything was fine ..until about four months into knowing him, i had gotten a random call from my "Best Friend" saying that she had something to tell me and she didn't want me to over-react. OK..so what is it abi?....she tells me that my "Man friend" who i thought was trying to get to know me, had been making passes at her. My initial reaction was to grab both their heads and shove them down my toilet ..but i recovered quickly. I let my friend off the hook (even though i had a feeling she wasn't telling me the whole story) and i turned my beef to him, which of cos the bobo played the whole situation down like i was being a major drama queen.In the name of "I still like him", i forgave him and we kept our friendship .....but i never did forget what he did and i knew at the back of my mind that i would never want to date a man i couldn't even trust with my best friend. He moved out of the country and i figured that i might be able to get over him now, i tried to ignore the fact that he never called me once since he left..... i almost succeeded. And then I get an IM from him about a month ago saying that he was coming back to the states for a couple of weeks, i was like cool...CALL ME when you get into town. Being the inconsiderate jerk that he is...i never did get any call from him , only those stupid IMs he has grown accustomed to sending in the last couple of months. So i get another IM from him again about a week ago and this time he was coming down to MD. He wanted to see me, but i wasn't so sure if i wanted to give in that easily to seeing him too ...i was a bit hesitant but i did miss him, so i figured it wouldn't hurt to hang out with him. Saturday came and went...NO CALL ....Sunday came and went...STILL NO CALL. At this point i had concluded that he didn't come into town after all.Only for me to get another freaking IM from this Bobo telling me that he did come into town this weekend and that he was planning to leave back to NY pretty soon...but he wanted to see me before he leaves. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!.....I HAVE SUFFERED IN MY LIFE OHHHH, the guy must have thought he was dealing with the "world's biggest dummy", "ode in training" ....shey the lizard does not know that "normal" Americans keep 9-5 jobs?...... abi was his brain that porous as not to remember that for as long as he has known me..... I AM ALWAYS WORKING?. So basically i listened to him ramble on about how he couldn't help the situation that happened this weekend and how he was sorry. Like i haven't heard all that crap before.
Right now...for this moment.....i am boiling over with anger. I am angry at him for being born an asshole ..but more so i am angry at myself. I am angry that i let him get to me, i am angry i still like him even after everything he has put me thru, i am angry i waited for him to call this weekend,..but most of all i am angry that i could forgive him after attempting to sleep with my best friend..but yet i can't forgive him for not calling me. No matter how much my friends tell me not to give it a second thought..... i can't help it. No matter how much they tell me i always knew he was an ass anyway...it still doesn't make me feel better. I laid it on him thick..even though as dumb as he is, i am sure it was all like being in Algebra class for him...HE PROBABLY CAN'T REMEMBER A THING I SAID!!!. But at least i am happy i told him how i felt about his toying with people's emotions. I can't believe men and their thinking they can get away with so much crap!!!.

On a brighter note, i had fun this weekend!!!. My friend turned the big 25..... so i decided to take her out to dinner. It ended up being about 5 girls and we had so much fun. We ate some good food, had some great cake and flirted with our extremely cute waiter (i hope he enjoyed his 20% tip!), anyway Happy Birthday Ju-Ju!!!. I think i am done ranting for now...i will be back with stories of what I have been up to (believe me ..... THE DRAMA NEVER ENDS!)

P.S: Happy Mothers Day to my FAB Mum!!!...and to every woman who embodies the true definition of love.

The One That Got Away......

I just got the worst news EVER!...ok so maybe not the worst, but it is still pretty sad. My friend calls me today and goes on to joyfully announce that a mutual friend of ours is getting married this summer. Now ususally i would be all smiles and happy for him..... well that was if he wasn't the one that got away. It all began almost 8 years ago, i was a freshman in college and with very few friends on campus and little interest in making any really. I was woken up one morning by a call from my friend saying she was downstairs in the lobby of my dorm and needed to be signed in. I grudgingly got up and wiped the sleep from my eyes as i cursed my friend for waking me up abruptly. When i got downstairs i noticed she wasn't alone, the stranger in the baseball cap seemed engrossed in a phone conversation with a girl called "Nina", i mumbled a general hello and turned to go upstairs as they both followed closly behind me. It later turned out that the guy i had taken little notice of was my friend's classmate(still don't know what they were doing in my dorm though), he would become the first guy to hold my teenage attention for a while.
He was tall, dark and very handsome. He was amazingly smart and i loved to just listen to him talk. He would come to my dorm room and we would just talk for hours on end...all the while i wondered what it would feel like to kiss him. When exams rolled thru...he would come to the little dingy study room down my hall and ramble on about calculations he had to spend all night doing..... all the while keeping me company on my mission to pulling an "all nighter". On one of the very random Sat that we had little to do, he invited me out bowling with him...i accepted. Didn't feel the need to point out that my ass had never been bowling before. I had the most amazing time that night...i sucked at bowling but he never let me know it. After falling on my ass a couple of times and never really hitting the target, we went out for ice cream.... we took a long walk down the little river behind the bowling alley, as he asked me about my family and my ambitions. With every question..... i liked him even more. I thought i was in heaven really, i mean i was with a man i had the biggest crush on and he wanted to know about ME....i was living out the movies i soo loved to watch.
As the year went on, we hung out and became closer even though neither of us ever said we were anything but friends. About a year into knowing him, i met my now ex-boyfriend. I told him about my new man...he seemed happy for me. Over time i spent less and less time with him and more time with my new man but i still adored him to death. I moved off campus and didn't see any reason to hang out with him anymore, especially when my possessive ex-boyfriend seemed to dislike him. The years passed and we would call each other from time to time...even while i was with my boyfriend, i would still wonder what it would have felt like to be his girl. He became the big man on campus, the guy every girl liked to talk about, he was very popular.... but he always made time for me.

And then today ....i feel like my perfect world just came crashing down. He is getting married and has a beautiful baby girl who he absolutely adores. He is no more the guy that just rambled on about the calculations he hated doing, he is the guy doing his PhD and looking into what the future has to offer. I had seen him only six months ago and i remember it felt soo good to just laugh with him again, recognizing the twinkle in his eye everytime i said something funny. He slipped me his number as we parted ways that night and made me promise i would use it this time..i never did keep that promise. After i got over the shock of him getting married ...i confessed my crush to the friend that called me and in return he goes..."I know...he liked you too". Those words stung...all these years i had wondered what it would have felt like to be his girl..and all the while he had been telling my friends how much he thought he liked me too. He never told me how he felt...for the same reason i didn't tell him how much i adored him. We had both been too afraid to change what we had with each other.
Now i will never know what loving him would have felt like. At the back of my mind, i guess i am happy he found happiness with someone else...i really am. I can't help but wonder if that would have been me he will be waiting for at the altar. Because he is my friend...i am going to show up at the wedding, smile and give his bride a hug, tell her what a good man she has, give him a kiss on the cheek ...all the while dying inside, afterall isn't that what a good friend is supposed to do?. And someday when i get over my pain and can smile back at the memories we did make, He will always be to me.... The one that got away....