A date with a resume?...... suspicious. Part 1

For the first time in my life i am actually craving a relationship..... any kind of relationship that involves a cute guy, his nice car, Jimmy Choo shoes to make me smile when i am feeling down and a couple of dates to my favorite restaurant (is that too much to ask?). Shallow and totally surface as that might sound ..I AM NOT KIDDING. A few weeks back and i would have spat at the idea of a man "completing" me..but now ... I AM TOTALLY UP FOR THE RISK (yes..Risk). I am constantly surrounded by all my smitten girlfriends who have given in to the idea of being with the one "special" man for the rest of their lives, HAAA....what kind of nonsense is that?. As if to throw it in my face that i am walking a very lonely road by myself, i have been dropped every single night since the beginning of the year..FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THEIR BOYFRIENDS. A planned girls night out suddenly becomes a "me" day in...after getting calls from these HEIFERS telling me that they are going to be staying home sick.... AS IF!, i am guessing the random outbursts of "kunle..stop it now, u are tickling me" are supposed to go totally ignored by me abi?. I don't blame them now...shebi if i had a man to "tickle" me too, i won't be stuck eating left-over Chinese food for dinner.
Now don't get me wrong ..i am happy for them cos i know they do deserve to be on cloud nine, but GOSH! a sister needs some love too. Every conversation now boils down to how wonderful and amazing their boyfriends are, i can't seem to escape the sh*t even if i tried. So lately my friends have been on the almost impossible quest to set me up with my "Mr Right", and i keep telling them its a waste of time since all the good ones seem to be taken. It dawned on me only too recently that over time i have become accustomed to spending late nights with my blanket (who i nicknamed ..baby) and my laptop (where i can browse all the sites that hold the shoes i "hope" to get). I was fine with my life, everything was just the way i wanted it to be, my bowls of Ben & Jerry ice-cream comforted me, i didn't have to worry about a man keeping me up late at night with his ludicrous stories of his last escapade. I WAS ACTUALLY FLYING HIGH, EVERYTHING WAS FREAKING DANDY!....well that was until recently.
Just two weekends ago, i had made the "stupid" decision to go watch a movie with one of my little heifer friends and her boyfriend.... DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I WAS SMOKING. I had spent the most part of that Saturday doing some much needed laundry and cooking up a storm (for no one in particular) when my friend called and invited me out to dinner and a movie with her boyfriend and his very "cute" friend,... Cute friend?...well that i can certainly hang with.... i thought to myself. I thought about it for a second and considered turning down her offer, bored i undeniably was ..... but desperate for a date..... i certainly was not. I could tell from the heavy breathing on the other end of the line that she was getting impatient with my silence, i thought about it for a few more seconds and threw all caution to the wind. I hadn't been out in over 2 months and the memory of my last bitter "break-up" still burned in my mind. Before hanging up, I agreed to meet up with her and the boys in exactly three hours (short notice for me ohhh). Still feeling uneasy about my quick give-in ...i stared at my already cold bowl of Eba and Egusi soup (I HOOKED IT UP TO!)..... should i? or shouldn't i go?... well I WENT ANYWAY!. I was dressed wayyyyyyy earlier than our planned time (one sign that i was nervous as crap) and i was worried about making an impression. The movie theater was packed with eager movie junkies trying to get their fill of Beyonce's DREAMGIRLS...or was it Jennifer Hudson they were there to see?..ooh well who cares. I could make out my friend's small frame walking towards me, waving her hands high enough, frantically trying to get my attention with her man walking steadily just secs behind her.......mmmmm....my friend and her man, but no "cutie" in sight. I walked up half way to meet up with her and quickly inquired about my date, "he can't make it to the movie... but he promised to meet us up for dinner" my friend said, SAY WHAT?....DON'T PLAY WITH ME OHH! i yelled. This little heifer could have told me the bobo had backed out before making me drive all this way to play third wheel to her nicely equipped "okada only" date, i was mad as hell but figured i might as well put my wasted gas money to good use. Girlfriend's man must have thought paying for my movie ticket will appease the anger building in me... but i was already too far gone. We settled in to watch "Night at the Museum" and my friend proceeded to wrap herself around her boyfriend, if she had moved any closer to him....SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN SITTING ON HIS DAMN HEAD!, at first i wasn't bothered with the obvious PDA....well..dat was until they began to laugh at every single scene and grap each other like they had been apart for days. Irritated and already flirting with anger again, i tried to wrestle the bucket of popcorn away from them....all the while wishing i had listened to my head and bought my own popcorn, its amazing what 2 long hrs and experiencing the different variations of kissing can do to a very sane woman .... i was eager to get the evening "almost" over with. I hurried out of the theater and walked as fast as i could to the double doors......i figured if i walked fast enough, i could get away from my friend's crazed antics. We had reservations at a fancy restaurant about 20mins from where we were and from what i could gather from my friend's hushed conversation......my "cute" date was already waiting for us. Not wanting to be subjected to any more unnecessary public display of affection by the two love birds, i opted to drive my car to the venue even though i knew i was going to regret it. We got to the restaurant, and as posh as the damn place was.....THEY HAD NO VALET PARKING!, meaning i was subjected to an hour long of Baltimore sightseeing all in the name of looking for appropriate parking. By the time i got to the restaurant, everyone seemed to be waiting for me. As i walked to our table, i remember thinking just one thing......PLS GOD DON'T LET THAT BE MY DATE!!. Now i am not much for looks (ok..maybe a little) but the guy seated with my friends and engaged in a deep conversation, looked like he was there to take our orders instead of dine with us, as i drew closer to our table...i contemplated turning around and heading for the door, but i figured it might be too late now considering my bright red top could be spotted from a mile away. I flashed a smile and decided to face my demons, after the mandatory introductions...i took the empty seat next to him. As i felt his eyes burning thru my clothes..i knew i had been set up and this was going to be a long night after all!!!.

I WILL BE BACK WITH THE CONCLUDING PART OF MY VERY INTERESTING NIGHT. Have a blessed weekend people.