Friday, February 02, 2007

A date with a resume?...... suspicious. Part 2

I AM BACK!....now the crying can stop(I KID, I KID). Sorry for the delay, I have been kinda under the weather...actually the weather has been CRAPPY!.( DENG COLD!)
PART 2:
So now i am sitting at the table with two people i want to kill and a man i hardly know...but want to kill as well. I could feel the intensity of his stare burn thru my loosely fitted top as I tried to think of any reason why after all i know about my friend's "set-ups", i had still fallen for her tricks.....none made sense. To avoid making eye contact with my "cutie"( i say that with a very heavy heart), i took a quick glance at the menu...knowing what i wanted to order right from the moment i walked in thru the doors....but not willing to tear my eyes away from the booklet long enuf to acknowledge his presence. The calls of "Ma'am do you know what you want to order now?" brought me back to my very uncomfortable reality, with some irritation i finally looked up at the waiter. I suddenly felt a loss of appetite, so i skipped dinner and opted for dessert instead.....all the while wondering what a good "first date" food was anyway. I had barely placed my order and settled in to the idea of totally ignoring my date and letting everyone else do the talking, before i heard "cutie" ask .... "sorry..... but where did you say you went to school again?", trying hard not to lose my cool, i answered......" I don't believe i told you what school i went to in the first place". My answer must have thrown him off his "game" because he swallowed hard, drowned the rest of his beer and turned away from me. I knew i was being kinda mean to him but i really did not care, meeting the crazed eyes of my friend across the table was hilarious in of itself..... i knew she couldn't wait to have my head on a platter...lol. After dinner was served and i had simmered down a bit, i figured i might as well be nice to "cutie" and give him a chance to annoy me. With my always ready smile, i turned to him and asked him general questions about himself....WRONG MOVE, the guy was going on one kind of tangent i did not understand. As if to let me in on what i would be missing if i didn't give him a chance, he went on to give me his full STATS.... I am talking... full name, age, last known residence, last known girlfriend, reason why she put a restraining order out on him......well u get the drift. As i listened to him talk, i wondered what again i was doing there.... all the while he rambled on about his life and wot nut.... i was fixated on just one thing.... HIS NOSE!. Now i am not one to call out people's flaws...especially if they cant help them, but the dude's nose was beyond this world. The size had me wishing i had something within reach.... just so that i could measure it, as i unapologetically stared it...i wondered for a quick second if it might be out of place to ask him if he ever had any trouble breathing. The way his nose seemed to shift after every breath he took, the way it took up most of his black face, the way it rested so close to his eyes...i was so sure he could almost count the hairs that stuck out of his bulging nose. My friend must have caught me staring at him with a frown on my face, because she called my name and asked if i was ready to go, ....READY TO GO?.... just when i was beginning to get my gas money's worth?....I THINK NOT!. I convinced them to order some dessert and hang around for a little while longer, something still bothered me about this guy, but i just couldn't place a finger on what was out of place.....sure he had a nose bigger than my whole head, sure he talked a little more than my usual dates, sure he might have stalked a couple of girlfriends in his lifetime...but i knew it was much more than that. "So where do you work?" i asked...... "well i am sorta between jobs right now" he answered. Between jobs is just another way of saying ...YOU AIN'T GOT NO JOB!, now it was all coming together....i knew the guy was confused and i relented from pointing out the obvious. Dinner was over way earlier than i wanted it to be, i had gotten comfortable with just sitting down and listening to my "dream date" talk about his plans for a multi-billion dollar estate(pls put in mind that he is not even making the required minimum wage ohhh). I reluctantly got up from our table and waited for everyone else to follow suit.... that was when my date got up and all hell broke loose........NOW I KNEW WHY SOMETHING ABOUT HIM DID NOT SIT RIGHT WITH ME.

Will be back with the third and final part of my very eventful night from hell.....I PROMISE!